July 23, 2024 - Career Comeback
I did it, the ultimate comeback! Today I started a new job, at a local non-profit. I had always wanted to work for a non-profit organization, to grow my career within a mission driven organization that does so much for the community we live in. After I was let go from my previous position, I had so much self-doubt and questioned everything in my career that I worked so hard to build. I couldn’t understand the how or the why, I didn’t know how to move forward. Every success I had throughout my career, everything I thought I knew and all the experience I gained, vanished in a blink of an eye! It was all gone, or at least that is how I felt.
At this point, I was SUPER sick and I knew it! I knew that everything was hard, especially work. But I also knew that I had to work. So I pushed on and started applying for jobs. It wasn’t long, maybe a couple weeks, before I started going through the interview process which led to an almost immediate job offer. I did it, I proved to myself that I was worth it, that I was good at what I do for a career. If only the others would have seen it to. If only they would’ve had compassion for my health issues. If only. . .
Sadly, I was only able to work 4 days before ending up in the ER. Thinking back now, I don’t remember much from those 4 days. I knew I was excited for the opportunity to work for the organization, and I knew I did lots of training videos and met lots of people, but that is all I remember. Come to find out, I had Hepatic Encephalopathy, the loss of brain function when a damaged liver doesn’t remove toxins from the blood and may have been suffering it for months leading up to my trip to the ER. Symptoms of Hepatic Encephalopathy include forgetfulness, confusion and in advanced stages disorientation and slurred speech. It all makes sense now, why I suffered so much in my previous position. It wasn’t because I was terrible at what I do in my career, it was because I was struggling with remembering how. I continually felt like I was doing things right but was being told I was doing them all wrong. I knew what I was doing and most things I excelled at my entire career, but my brain was not functioning properly, and I had no idea!
Throughout those 4 days at my new job, my health was declining at a rapid pace. I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew it was something. I thought that I would feel better once I stopped taking the medication I was taking for endometriosis, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t eat, I was nauseous all the time, I was incredibly bloated, I was extremely tired and by the end of the week I had severe lower back pain. I would go to work and come home and basically go straight to bed. I was just trying to survive the week and hoping that I would feel much better after the weekend. Unfortunately, nothing helped and I ultimately ended up in the ER that Saturday afternoon and the rest is history.
Even after being admitted to the hospital and transferred to Seattle, I still wanted to work. I kept asking when I could go back to work and my doctor kept having to convince me that my mind was not capable of working at that time. The organization I had started working for were great and they were able to hold the position for me until I was ready to return to work. Unfortunately, as the days passed my return to work became more and more unlikely and I eventually had to give up my position. It was one of the hardest things I had to do but I knew that I couldn’t leave them in that position, they needed someone that was able to fill the position immediately. I held out hope that maybe, just maybe, something would be available for the same organization once I was able to return to work. Sadly, that was not the case.
Fast forward to today, I was not able to return to the previous non-profit I was hired with last year, but I am fortunate to work for a different one. It has been a great experience and I am learning things that I would have never learned in higher education. However, the position itself is a couple steps down from the position I was hired into last year and all the positions I have held for the past 15 years. Therefore, the search continues. It’s exhausting but I know that I am capable of so much more. I’ve overcome my encephalopathy, all my skills have come back to me, and I actually enjoy being at work again. I thrive off of challenges and am continually looking for opportunities for growth. Stagnancy is my nemesis and I pray that I find my perfect fit soon. Until then, I will just keep on, keeping on!!
